It's 2:44 am....
This *lovely* couple just checks in...
Paid cash.
Well, with cash payments, I'm required to take a deposit...
So he's scrounging in his pockets, a $5 here, $10 there..getting together all the cash to pay for the room..
He gives me all the money, I give him his key..they go to the room..
He comes back in the front door a few minutes later and says, "I can get my deposit back in the morning right? Cause I don't even know this girl, and I kinda need that money. I know that sounds kind of creepy, but I really don't want her to take me home...I just don't want her knowing where I live."
All I can do is laugh...lol
Saturday, September 29, 2012
Sunday, September 23, 2012
Hotel Virginity
Hi kids!
This weekend has been soooo boring...it was homecoming weekend here, and every year the high school also has their 50th reunion, so the city is overrun with people that graduated high school in 1962...it was lovely. There was also a wedding party here this weekend, so aside from the bride going a little crazy Saturday morning (which is to be expected) and a little old guy asking EVERYONE that walked in the lobby during breakfast if they wanted him to make a waffle, it was fairly quiet.
Oh, there was a guy that was passed out on the stairs when I came in Friday night. Face down, snoring away..he had been talking to his girlfriend and fell asleep..lol
So, I decided that since there wasn't much going on this weekend (however there still is tonight to go yet, so I may find something later) I thought I would pull a story out of my big bag o tricks and share it with you.
Now, I'm sure you see the title of this and get all interested in a dirty way. Stop. This is about my first day on the job. Why I kept it after this, I'll never know. I'm glad I did, or I wouldn't be able to bring you all these lovely stories.
4 1/2 years ago when I started in hotels, there were 6 of them in this little town. I started working at the "best" one there was. When I say best, I mean most expensive, all rooms are suites, biggest, cleanest, "best" hotel. I applied one day and was told to show up at 8am the next morning, where I received a crash course on hotels and was left to myself. It was mid May, so the college kids were moved out, and the ones that were still here in town were running all over being jackasses. Because apparently that's the appropriate thing to do when you stay in your college town over the summer...Who'da thunk it?
There were 2 housekeepers there when I started that I remember well. The first was Jennifer. She must have weighed 90 pounds dripping wet. I honestly think my thigh was as big as her waist. She was sooooooo little. The other was Marsha. She was just an all around sweetheart. The hotel had 3 jacuzzi suites..one that was the size of 2 of the regular suites, and therefore it was dubbed the "honeymoon suite". Some kids had rented it out the night before my first day of work and had thrown a party.
I can't remember exactly what it was they said when they opened the door to this room, but it was something to the effect of "holy mother of god" and "I'm not touching this room" which of course piqued the interest of the rest of the housekeepers and myself. I was the closest, so I grabbed the phone and headed down the hall.
I gagged. Seriously guys, gagged. And it only got worse. The jacuzzi was full of beer. Or piss. We never really did clarify which one it was, however considering the rest of the room, we were leaning more and more towards piss. Beer bottles scattered across the room, most of them with cigarette butts in them (and mind you, this is a 100% non smoking hotel, back before everything was non-smoking). Someone had bled on the bed....a lot. However what was the most disturbing, even more than the jacuzzi, was the fact that there were 14...yes, FOURTEEN...used condoms stuck to the wall....upside down...so the contents had leaked out and were dripping down the wall.
The phone number they gave upon check in was bogus...the credit card used was a prepaid...we were stuck with this filthy room and no way to charge damage fees... The sad thing about this whole situation is it was cleaned and then rented out again that night...to someone that was looking for a "romantic getaway" in the crap town we live in...all that was done was the bedding changed, jacuzzi bleached, and walls bleached...and then normal room cleanup..
I still cringe when I think about it. There have only been 2 things that have come close to topping that on the gross scale, but those are different stories for different times.
On that note, I'll end this!!
This weekend has been soooo boring...it was homecoming weekend here, and every year the high school also has their 50th reunion, so the city is overrun with people that graduated high school in 1962...it was lovely. There was also a wedding party here this weekend, so aside from the bride going a little crazy Saturday morning (which is to be expected) and a little old guy asking EVERYONE that walked in the lobby during breakfast if they wanted him to make a waffle, it was fairly quiet.
Oh, there was a guy that was passed out on the stairs when I came in Friday night. Face down, snoring away..he had been talking to his girlfriend and fell asleep..lol
So, I decided that since there wasn't much going on this weekend (however there still is tonight to go yet, so I may find something later) I thought I would pull a story out of my big bag o tricks and share it with you.
Now, I'm sure you see the title of this and get all interested in a dirty way. Stop. This is about my first day on the job. Why I kept it after this, I'll never know. I'm glad I did, or I wouldn't be able to bring you all these lovely stories.
4 1/2 years ago when I started in hotels, there were 6 of them in this little town. I started working at the "best" one there was. When I say best, I mean most expensive, all rooms are suites, biggest, cleanest, "best" hotel. I applied one day and was told to show up at 8am the next morning, where I received a crash course on hotels and was left to myself. It was mid May, so the college kids were moved out, and the ones that were still here in town were running all over being jackasses. Because apparently that's the appropriate thing to do when you stay in your college town over the summer...Who'da thunk it?
There were 2 housekeepers there when I started that I remember well. The first was Jennifer. She must have weighed 90 pounds dripping wet. I honestly think my thigh was as big as her waist. She was sooooooo little. The other was Marsha. She was just an all around sweetheart. The hotel had 3 jacuzzi suites..one that was the size of 2 of the regular suites, and therefore it was dubbed the "honeymoon suite". Some kids had rented it out the night before my first day of work and had thrown a party.
I can't remember exactly what it was they said when they opened the door to this room, but it was something to the effect of "holy mother of god" and "I'm not touching this room" which of course piqued the interest of the rest of the housekeepers and myself. I was the closest, so I grabbed the phone and headed down the hall.
I gagged. Seriously guys, gagged. And it only got worse. The jacuzzi was full of beer. Or piss. We never really did clarify which one it was, however considering the rest of the room, we were leaning more and more towards piss. Beer bottles scattered across the room, most of them with cigarette butts in them (and mind you, this is a 100% non smoking hotel, back before everything was non-smoking). Someone had bled on the bed....a lot. However what was the most disturbing, even more than the jacuzzi, was the fact that there were 14...yes, FOURTEEN...used condoms stuck to the wall....upside down...so the contents had leaked out and were dripping down the wall.
The phone number they gave upon check in was bogus...the credit card used was a prepaid...we were stuck with this filthy room and no way to charge damage fees... The sad thing about this whole situation is it was cleaned and then rented out again that night...to someone that was looking for a "romantic getaway" in the crap town we live in...all that was done was the bedding changed, jacuzzi bleached, and walls bleached...and then normal room cleanup..
I still cringe when I think about it. There have only been 2 things that have come close to topping that on the gross scale, but those are different stories for different times.
On that note, I'll end this!!
Monday, September 10, 2012
While I'm at it...
While I'm at it tonight...
I got a phone call this morning from a gentleman wanting to make a reservation for a room tonight. He asked me the rate and when I told him he says, "Really? That high? On a Sunday night? But you're empty on Sunday night. Are you sure that's your rate? Maybe you should check again."
Well gee, let me check...Oh no, I have a rate special in here just for you...
"Well I was thinking something more like $50."
Sorry sir, a rate like that will cause me to lose my job. And you are now an asshole for expecting me to give you special treatment and get a rate that is ridiculously low for the area.
Boys and girls, when you're looking for a hotel in a small town such as this one, there are a few things to keep in mind...Yes, we may be empty, but we are not going to give you a room for less than half the going rate simply because of that. That means that really, we're paying money for you to stay here. There is a cost to running a hotel, and at this particular one, we need to rent 11 rooms at full price just to break even for a day. Eleven. There are only 39 rooms here. And please believe that there are nights that the 11 doesn't even happen. Tonight there are 12. Most of them are not at a full rate.
ANYWAY...while it is very possible for some of the bigger hotels in bigger areas to go down drastically (I've heard stories of people getting $500 rooms for less than $100) that just doesn't happen here. If you're nice and work with me, I can go down $10. Period.
"Well I know your hotel isn't worth that much."
Okay, I get it. You don't want to pay for a clean, comfortable room. Fine. Go to the hotel that is across town. You'll have mold in your bathroom. OR you can go the hotel that allows you to pay by the hour. Please, feel free to enjoy the bugs that are there. You get what you pay for boys and girls. Yes, there is always a chance that a housekeeper will miss something. They're humans. Not machines. People make mistakes. And please believe that if a person continues to make mistakes, they find themselves looking for another place of employment, but everyone is given a chance.
I keep getting side tracked....too much coffee..
You don't go into a store and start to haggle prices on their products. It's ridiculous to try to haggle prices in a hotel.
I got a phone call this morning from a gentleman wanting to make a reservation for a room tonight. He asked me the rate and when I told him he says, "Really? That high? On a Sunday night? But you're empty on Sunday night. Are you sure that's your rate? Maybe you should check again."
Well gee, let me check...Oh no, I have a rate special in here just for you...
"Well I was thinking something more like $50."
Sorry sir, a rate like that will cause me to lose my job. And you are now an asshole for expecting me to give you special treatment and get a rate that is ridiculously low for the area.
Boys and girls, when you're looking for a hotel in a small town such as this one, there are a few things to keep in mind...Yes, we may be empty, but we are not going to give you a room for less than half the going rate simply because of that. That means that really, we're paying money for you to stay here. There is a cost to running a hotel, and at this particular one, we need to rent 11 rooms at full price just to break even for a day. Eleven. There are only 39 rooms here. And please believe that there are nights that the 11 doesn't even happen. Tonight there are 12. Most of them are not at a full rate.
ANYWAY...while it is very possible for some of the bigger hotels in bigger areas to go down drastically (I've heard stories of people getting $500 rooms for less than $100) that just doesn't happen here. If you're nice and work with me, I can go down $10. Period.
"Well I know your hotel isn't worth that much."
Okay, I get it. You don't want to pay for a clean, comfortable room. Fine. Go to the hotel that is across town. You'll have mold in your bathroom. OR you can go the hotel that allows you to pay by the hour. Please, feel free to enjoy the bugs that are there. You get what you pay for boys and girls. Yes, there is always a chance that a housekeeper will miss something. They're humans. Not machines. People make mistakes. And please believe that if a person continues to make mistakes, they find themselves looking for another place of employment, but everyone is given a chance.
I keep getting side tracked....too much coffee..
You don't go into a store and start to haggle prices on their products. It's ridiculous to try to haggle prices in a hotel.
Asshole
There is a gentleman that stayed in my hotel last night. Gentleman really isn't the word to define him, but as he is of the male persuasion, that is the word I used. Complete asshole is a better word. He was completely rude to me when he checked in...he walked in the lobby and expected me to give him a room for almost half of our regular rate, and then got pissy with me when I refused. I told him of all our amenities as I tell everyone and he says "So really you pay so much for the room and an extra $25 for a waffle in the morning." It was almost 1am and I was already tired of his bullshit, so I told him if he wanted a cheap room, I would gladly point him in the direction of the sleazy motel down the road that allows guests to pay by the hour. Needless to say, he stayed here.
And he's a royal pain all night long...calls me for every little thing when he can easily solve the problem himself if he just looked for a minute...his TV is broken, no just his battery is loose. His fridge doesn't work, no the switch isn't flipped on...stupid little things like that...finally stops calling me around 4am after changing his wake-up call 3 times.
He comes down for breakfast and has this look on his face. I'm sure you would know the look I'm talking about, we've all seen it. That "I'm better than all of you" look. He stands in the breakfast area and says "What you got to eat in this place?" Like he can't just turn around and look. There are a few other older guests sitting at the tables eating and one of them looks at him but doesn't say anything as I rattle off a list of everything we have for breakfast. He walks over, points to the coffee and says " This is where you keep your coffee?" Um....duh. It says COFFEE on it. "Where's your creamer?" ...In the glass container that says CREAMER on it...
It is when he has his back turned to me that I notice he has bird shit on his shoulder. I consider telling him about it, but I also consider the treatment he has given me for no good reason, so I decide not to.
After about 15 minutes he goes to make a waffle. He walks up to the iron and looks at it and yells across the room "So you're telling me I have to make my own breakfast?" Yes sir, you sure do. "Well how does this thing work?"
And the best thing ever happened.
The little old lady that had looked up earlier chimes in and says "Just read the damn directions. Didn't your mommy teach you how to read? Why is it so hard for people to read the damn directions these days?"
I. Died. Laughing. For real. I had to go back to the back room and continue my laughing. I couldn't help it.
Point of the story is.....don't be an asshole. Or you'll have bird shit on your shoulder and little old ladies scold you for not being able to read.
And he's a royal pain all night long...calls me for every little thing when he can easily solve the problem himself if he just looked for a minute...his TV is broken, no just his battery is loose. His fridge doesn't work, no the switch isn't flipped on...stupid little things like that...finally stops calling me around 4am after changing his wake-up call 3 times.
He comes down for breakfast and has this look on his face. I'm sure you would know the look I'm talking about, we've all seen it. That "I'm better than all of you" look. He stands in the breakfast area and says "What you got to eat in this place?" Like he can't just turn around and look. There are a few other older guests sitting at the tables eating and one of them looks at him but doesn't say anything as I rattle off a list of everything we have for breakfast. He walks over, points to the coffee and says " This is where you keep your coffee?" Um....duh. It says COFFEE on it. "Where's your creamer?" ...In the glass container that says CREAMER on it...
It is when he has his back turned to me that I notice he has bird shit on his shoulder. I consider telling him about it, but I also consider the treatment he has given me for no good reason, so I decide not to.
After about 15 minutes he goes to make a waffle. He walks up to the iron and looks at it and yells across the room "So you're telling me I have to make my own breakfast?" Yes sir, you sure do. "Well how does this thing work?"
And the best thing ever happened.
The little old lady that had looked up earlier chimes in and says "Just read the damn directions. Didn't your mommy teach you how to read? Why is it so hard for people to read the damn directions these days?"
I. Died. Laughing. For real. I had to go back to the back room and continue my laughing. I couldn't help it.
Point of the story is.....don't be an asshole. Or you'll have bird shit on your shoulder and little old ladies scold you for not being able to read.
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